This is why I get meal kits. Do I need them? No. Can I easily make them myself? For way cheaper? Yes. WILL I??? No.
Other tips: if you are going to buy things that aren’t pre-taxed, you need to make a habit of always doing the prep AS SOON AS YOU GET HOME. it will NEVER HAPPEN if you don’t.
Get the bulk pack of steaks! But you are never gonna eat them before they go bad. If you freeze them in individual ziplocks as soon as you unpack you probably will?
Get the celery, but you need to cut it ALL UP and store it in the fridge in water or it will rot.
And don’t do all tgese at once, get like, one or two prep things a trip. You aren’t gonna get it started if it’s a huge task.
Don’t pass by these tips because you don’t have ADHD!
These are valid points for the busy parent, the overstressed college student, and the person working the “wrong” shift.
Real story - I have thrown away SO MUCH meat and produce in my time. Frozen veggies can even be better than fresh, since they are picked when ripe and frozen rather than picked early and expected to ripen in shipping. My local grocer will sometimes pre-chop less-than-desirable veggies and sell them in the discount cooler - a chopped onion is more useful than a whole one! Meat in bulk packs is WAY cheaper, but you have to make breaking up that huge pack part of putting away the groceries. Also, having a place to put the groceries away helps make the process easier. It’s taken me more than one decade of life to figure these things out.
It’s not lazy if it is efficient. Professionals call it “time management.”
Hanging out with old people rules because after a while they trust you enough to confess to murder totally unprompted
Wait what.
Sometimes old ladies had to kick the ladder out from under their stepfathers when they were girls and that’s valid
oh, my little old lady murder story was her replacing the medication in her abusive husband’s capsules with rat poison.
“back in the day, our grandmothers worked on their marriages and didn’t get divorced!” nah, friend, they COULDN’T get a divorce so sometimes they killed their fuckin husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
My grandma murdered her first husband the first time he beat their daughter.
My college was next to an assisted living facility and one time we went over there to draw people’s portraits so we could get practice drawing older people. The lady I was drawing idly told me that she “dealt quite handily with her first husband” while making a stabbing gesture. Five minutes later she requested I make sure not to draw her double chin. I honored that request.
So when I was a child my grandmother told all these great stories about growing up in the Alaskan wilderness. Amazing bad ass stories about her and my great-grandmother. I recently asked my mom why my great-grandmother moved from Texas to Alaska in the first place. Turns out my Great-grandfather was abusive to my great grandmother for years and she lived with that until the first time he hit my grandmother, who was like three at the time, my great-grandmother got him very drunk and beat him to death then moved to Alaska to hide from the cops.
Men don’t realize their life expectancy went up thanks to divorce.
Figure 9.3 shows that the number of males killed by intimate partners dropped by 71.4% between 1976 and 2002. Researchers and advocates for battered women attribute this dramatic decline to the widespread availability of support services for women, including shelters, crisis counseling, hotlines, and legal measures such as protection and restraining orders. These services offer abused women options for escaping violence and abuse other than taking their partners’ lives. Other factors that may have contributed to the decline are the increased ease of obtaining divorce and the generally improved economic conditions for women.
the idea that it’s ‘creepy’ to interact with things posted a long time ago is so terrible for artists and contributes to the pressure to be constantly creating new work, at an unhealthy and unsustainable rate.
when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say “hi baby!” bc you’re excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster ‘cause she’s excited to see you too. that’s what life is all about i think
I feel this in my bones.
but will xenoblade ever have a canon trans character?
what d&d spell do you wish you could use in real life and why is it prestidigitation?
No. No, listen. Listen to me. Shut up about ‘fireball’. If you’re really that interested in arson, download the anarchists cookbook, coward. And shut up about teleportation, none of us asocial inside kids is prepared to deal with the consequences of a mishap, which will DEF happen if you use it frequently.
You know what has no chance of mishap and all chances of convenience? Prestidigi-fucking-tation.
Do you hate doing dishes? Poof. Every dish in a 5 foot cube is now clean. Even if you hardlined the rules as only applying to individual objects, less than 6 seconds to clean your curry tupper ware without getting those weird stains on it is worth it. never have to run a dish washer, never be without your favourite mug. And that’s just dishes.
Hate laundry? Boom. You can just clean your clothes immediately after taking them off at night. Hate putting on your fitted sheet? Boom. Don’t even take it off the bed. Your sink? Bathtub? Toilet? all of these things can be cleaned instantly and without needing any electricity and water guzzling machines. You can even do it on the go- stained your shirt? No you didn’t. Sweat through your shirt? No the fuck you didn’t. When you have prestidigitation, you are perpetually impeccable.
But wait, there’s more! Prestidigitation doesn’t just clean! Did your tea go cold? Boom, heat it up. Forget to put your wine in the fridge? Boom, now it’s cold. Do you hate how water tastes? Boom- now it tastes like whatever you like. You will never again be forced to suffer a taste you don’t enjoy with this one neat trick, because prestidigitation is technically like 5 tricks rolled into one convenient spell that is both practical and flashy.
Light candles with a snap of your fingers for dramatic effect! Conjure scissors from thin air! Create ominous whispers to follow you as you walk past your enemies! Leave a message on the wall that looks like dripping blood to remind your spouse to give the dog it’s pills! Make an illusion of what haircut you want at the salon! and do all of that as many times as you want because we are cooking with cantrips baybe! You can even have multiple effects running simultaneously! The possibilities are as endless as the time, money, and frustration it will save you!
No other spell will give you more bang for your buck than prestidigitation. It is The spell, and every day it continues to be not real is a day I weep. I want this. YOU want this.
Presti
digi
tation
Ok but subtle spell catapult to gaslight people into thinking you have a ghost.
Or mage hand similarly
My dear you do not need magic to be a real life scooby-doo villain. You can do that with some gumption and basic stage production. But only magic can extricate us from the Sisyphean hell of laundry and dishes.
Anonymous
